List of Past Articles

In case you're interested....


Here's a link to a list of past articles I've written for
the newsletter Emotional Times -


http://www.getresponse.com/archive/jointhefun

Since I'm never satisfied with what I've written, I may
take this link down soon. Just so you know....

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Want Peace Of Mind?

.
Want a piece of mine?

It’s ten p.m. here in the wilds of Oregon. All I can hear
are the crickets chirping and the sounds of the river as
it rushes over the rocks that jut out above the water line.

In the distance I can hear a dog barking. This morning
I heard ducks calling to each other as they flew by.

This afternoon a half-grown deer looked through my
living room window. It wandered off after it saw me
looking back.

And so another day slowly comes to a close.

Life is what you make it. We carve and chisel and mold
our lives and our lifestyles out of our thoughts and
feelings and beliefs and a few other raw materials.

Sometimes we’re happy.

Many times we’re not.

So often we find ourselves caught up in a little story
of our own making. A little story with a big impact.

A little story we create that defines who we are, what
we can have, and what we’ll allow ourselves to feel.

“I can never be happy.”

“I’ll never get what I want.”

“I’m so screwed up. What’s wrong with me?”

And on it goes. So often we get caught up in a
whirlwind of negative thoughts and feelings without
even realizing it.

Like a noisy refrigerator, we get so used to it we
no longer even hear it.

But if I’m not paying attention to those thoughts, how
can I take charge of my life? If I’m not aware of what
I’m feeling - what I’m REALLY feeling - how can I
change it to start feeling what I really want?

It’s easy to believe you don’t have any control over
the endless stream of thoughts and feelings that
go on in your heard.

And the more unpleasant those thoughts and
feelings are, the less control we seem to have.

Sometimes when I go to sleep at night the noise
from the river actually seems too loud, and I’ll
close the window to help me sleep.

I love the quiet. I value the silence.

Too bad we can’t shut out the noise inside our own
heads. Since we can’t, we usually try to either ignore
it, or more often - distract ourselves from it.

Turn on the TV.

Turn on the radio.

Turn on the computer. Let’s check the email. Again.

So many ways to distract ourselves from the constant
chatter going on in our heads. And that’s a shame.

Because there’s great value in our stream of
consciousness.

“Thar’s gold in them-thar hills!” as they used to say.

We constantly plant seeds with our thoughts and
feelings. We’re growing a garden. It’s called
“our life”.

We’re always planting seeds. Sometimes they sprout
and take root. Other times they wither and die from
neglect.

Sometimes they grow big and strong and impact our
lives. Other times, they’re overgrown by competing
thoughts and feelings.

Whatever you give attention to grows the strongest.
Or whatever you repeat the most.

“I just can’t get a good night’s sleep.”

“I just can’t get a good night’s sleep.”

“I just can’t …”

Sometimes it’s like a broken record up there.

You’ve heard it so many times. You get so sick
of it. Why not turn on the TV so you don’t have
to hear it?

There’s no power on earth that can stop you from
trying to distract yourself from the noise inside
your head. You’re living proof of that.

But what’s the price you pay?

At the very least it insures you WON’T have peace
of mind. Which might be okay unless the TV cable
goes out. Or the electricity goes out. Or… or
something worse happens in your life that forces
you to think about what matters.

If I try to separate myself from my own thoughts
and feelings, I WILL pay a price.

Will it be loneliness? Depression? What about
anxiety? They’re all possible outcomes. And
they’re not the only ones.

What you think and feel carries a huge impact.
It’s like a river of gold. Use it to get anything
you want in life. Or use it to build a tomb that
will suffocate you.

Gold can kill you.

Look at any area of your life - something that
works, or something that doesn’t work. Either
way, it all starts with the foundation you’ve
created for it.

And a big part of that foundation comes from
your thoughts and feelings. Even though you
don’t see your foundation, you’re still standing
on it. You create out of it.

You draw upon it as a source of raw material.

The foundation beneath your feet determines what
you end up manifesting as the world around you.

If I go around thinking and feeling I’m a schmuck,
then I’ve got the foundation of a schmuck.

Then what kind of reality am I going to manifest?

It’s obvious. And you’ve probably heard it many
times before. But we can all use a little reminder
from time to time.

Your foundation is your resource with which you
use to create your life.

What is in your foundation?

Awareness is the first step to changing it.

Consider this analogy -

The earth is the foundation for plants to grow.
With no outside influence, the plants most suited
for that environment are the ones that will grow
the best. Rich fertile soils produce quite different
plants than poor rocky soils.

Did you know? If you go to an open field or meadow
and simply spread a bunch of lime on the ground,
different plants will begin to grow there?

It’ll take a little time, but you can change the
complexion of a field in nature simply by spreading
lime. Lime sweetens the soil.

Change the soil and the plants change.

Working with your foundation is the key to
changing your life.

Want peace of mind? The very first step is to
spend some time pondering how important your
thoughts and feelings truly are. They make up
a large part of your foundation.

And your life grows OUT OF your foundation.
Before you begin working with your thoughts and
feelings, spend some time understanding how
much they matter.

Step one - ponder the mattering. Mull it over.
Play with it. Find the truth in it. Look for the value
in it. Get a sense of the mattering before you
turn to actual technique in working with it.

Thar’s gold in them-thar hills!

Let the gold matter.

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Thank you!






all the best,

Mark

Why Am I Alive?

.
(Or - Growing Up With Shame)

Why am I here?

I came with such high hopes and aspirations.
I was going to save the world. Or at least live
a good life - full and rich and true.

But instead I learned pain and hardship and
struggle. I learned what it’s like to suffer.

I became isolated. My innocence and goodness
somehow disappeared.

I doubted myself. The doubt grew to fear and
panic.

I started to hate myself. Then I hated the world.
Then I hated God.

I blamed. I grew more isolated. I began to
lose touch with myself. I lost touch with my
soul. I think my spirit died.

Like a shifty turtle - I hid I ran I dodged I lied.
I lied to myself.

“I’ll get through it. I’ll make it somehow. And
if I don’t - so what? Screw everybody. I’ll
die on an island. All alone.”

I drift in pain.

I can’t see. Where is my flicker of hope?

I didn’t realize at the time - a glimmer of
light always exists. I wasn’t mighty enough
to kill the flicker of hope.

I prayed. I cried.

I almost died.

I sat inside…

Where I could hide.
(I can’t believe I never died.)

And nobody knows. And nobody mourns.

And nobody comes and I say I don’t care.

And I still wasn’t mighty enough to kill
the flicker of hope.

A change did come. Many changes. Many
small changes. Inch by inch I took a mile.

Not in a blinding light - but a blistering crawl.
A gritty grueling crawl.

I crawled through my sewage and up to the
gutter on the street. I sat and looked out
the gutter. For years.

I was safely hiding in the sewer. But I loved to
look out the gutter and into the street.

I could see a robin’s nest in the cedar tree
across the street in the neighbor’s yard. The
little boys would play football after school. I
wondered why they didn’t have to hide in
their sewer.

Why weren’t they looking out of the gutter on
*their* curb? Why did they get to play in the
yard while I had to hide in my sewer?

I’m growing up. They’re just dumb kids.

One day I stuck my head out of the gutter
to look around better. But I got scared. I
went back down where I was safe.

Later I stuck my head up again. I got
scared again. Eventually I could venture out
somewhat.

But sometimes I still like to hide.

I don’t wonder as much now. About why I’m alive.

I know I’m here to become more of myself. As I learn
to enjoy the process of living.

Everything else is just gravy.

I want a world where it’s safe to love.

Someday.

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all the best,

Mark

Why I Moved To Oregon

.
Here I sit at the river house working with LOVE and
CHOICE.

I will never give up!

…and maybe that’s the problem.

Because I’m here at the river house so that I CAN
give up. Give up the lie. Give up the little story.

My little story of victim and martyr and pain.

My little story that says I have to struggle because
I’m not good enough… not really.

I don’t REALLY have what it takes to live my
dream. I’m not REALLY good enough. And I
know it.

Most of the time I refuse to look at it or think about it
or feel the devastating impact it has on me. Or the
impact it has on others.

My little story - written down in a little book - written
by a little person.

“I’m a victim.”

“The world’s out to get me.”

“I can’t trust anybody.”

It seems endless - the little lies I tell myself.

Maybe here, in the wilds of Oregon, miles from the
nearest gas station or convenience store…

Accessible only by crossing an old wooden bridge
supported by old railroad steel…

With no sides and a steep drop to a cold shallow
creek, you’d think that bridge would weed out the drunks
who somehow might come calling.

But the hairpin turn you must maneuver before you even
GET to the bridge takes care of that!

You’d almost think it was a lonely place, if not for the
river. (Here’s a picture of it.)

It races by like a superhighway. Why does it go so fast?
What’s the hurry? It’s just going to die. It’s just going to
merge with the Pacific Ocean in another few hours.

Would the water race so fast if it knew? Would the river
water rush to meet the sea if it knew it would no longer be
a river?

The current moves fast. It appears to be moving faster
than I can walk. I could run along beside it, but for how
long? And would the water even listen to me? (Why
should it? I’m not even good enough.)

“You’re gonna die!”

“You’re gonna die!”

“You’re gonna die!”

And then I remember - it’s my little story that needs to die.

Maybe it’s me who needs to hear the message. Maybe I’m
the one who should listen -

“Let go of the little story!”

“Let go of the little story!”

“Let go of…”

“You ARE good enough!”

“You ARE!”

“You can’t change that.”

You’re good enough because you’re loved unconditionally
by your Creator.

You’re loved when you act good. You’re loved when you act
bad. You’re loved when you REALLY act bad.

You’re loved when you don’t do anything at all. You’re
loved when you wake up. You’re loved when you sleep.
You’re loved when you’re in the bathroom.

You’re loved always - all times and all places.

That’s what makes you good enough. That’s what
makes ME good enough. I try not to think about it.

Besides, I got a little story that says I’m NOT good enough.

I wear it like a tattered, smelly old worn-out blanket. It
keeps me safe. (That’s part of the lie.)

But why should I give it up anyway? What guarantee
do I have that things will be better?

“Better the devil you know…” than the angel you don’t
know. (That’s also part of the lie.)

It’s insidious. Maybe because I’ve invested so much
into my little story. And that investment can be found
in the neurological pathways in my brain.

When a bunch of brain cells start working together,
forming neurological pathways, it‘s called a schema.

A schema is a set of brain cells that hold together a certain
memory.

You’ve got a schema for doorknobs. You know what a
doorknob is, you know what it’s for, you know how to use
one. Even if you come to a brand new door - one you’ve
never seen before - you know how to work the doorknob.

Because you’ve got a schema for doorknobs.

Well, I’ve got a schema that says I’m not good enough.
No matter where I go, no matter what new situation I
encounter, I have a schema that fits in.

Your schema for doorknobs lets you go anywhere in the
world and open doors - effortlessly, easily - without even
thinking about it!

My schema for ‘not-good-enough’ lets me go anywhere in
the world and open doors also. I can be a victim
anywhere in the world because of my schema.

I can be not good enough at the drop of a hat -
anywhere, anytime, anyplace - thanks to my
schema. (Or schemas - since I’ve got a few!)



I moved to this isolated place in the wilds of
Oregon to GET RID OF those schemas. But, by
definition, going to any physical location will not -
CAN not - change or modify an existing schema.

Damn. Why didn’t I think of that before? I just
signed a year’s lease for this little house on the
big river.

I thought the river would wash away my schemas
and make me a new man. Strong. Powerful. Able
to leap tall buildings…

And now I remember that a physical location doesn’t
affect my schemas. Guess I’ll have to figure out
another way to end my little story and start feeling
good enough.

What will I think of next?

Stay tuned.

(And why does the river move so fast?)

If you liked this post; if you got anything out of it; then please click on the BOOKMARK link below, which brings up a list of social bookmarking sites. Then add this article to your favorite site.

Thank you!







all the best,

Mark