Emotional Times

Articles and information on emotions and emotional healing, as well as poignant comments on life.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Principles Of Chauvinism

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Our society functions within a set of unspoken principles.

We live within this 'set' the way fish live in the sea.

In other words, we can hardly imagine it being any different
than the way it is now.

Fish - if they imagine anything at all - could not imagine
a life where they don’t live in the water.

Their 'set' is all they know.

Just like us. We live within a set also. We live within
our own ocean that appears invisible to us.

A fancy word for this ocean is 'paradigm'.

Our current paradigm relies heavily upon these principles
of chauvinism:


1. We live in a world of lack and limitation. There are only so
many slices of pie, and your job is to get as much pie as
you can.

2. Value comes from how well you compete and compare in a
competitive world. If you haven’t struggled then you possess
less value.

3. Power equals domination and control. If you don’t dominate
the other person, they will dominate you.

4. Don’t feel your feelings no matter what you do. It starts
by believing some feelings are good, and other feelings are bad.
This paves the way for not feeling at all.

5. Your options are limited. You only have so many choices, and
they fall mostly within the categories of fight, flight, feed or
reproduce.

6. There exists an outside authority. Someone other than you has
the power - and you job is to submit or fight for your own power.

7. We live in win-lose reality and your job is to win. For every
winner there must be a loser. It’s a ‘zero-sum’ game.



It’s hard to imagine a life that doesn’t conform to these
seven principles of chauvinism.

These principles come from the natural world - in other
words, from nature.

Nature is incredibly chauvinistic.

The big fish really do eat the little fish. They function
by instinct.

When your only choice is instinct, it works okay.

But the problem with humans living in chauvinism is
that eventually we destroy ourselves.

It’s a self-destructive energy when you add humans to
the equation.

Maybe you’ve noticed.

As human beings evolve, a new paradigm becomes
possible. A paradigm of conscious choice rather than
of instinct.

A paradigm of dominion rather than domination.

The way I see it, one of our goals in life lies with
changing the paradigm of chauvinism to something more.

It starts with imagining how things COULD BE - instead
of just imagining how things appear.

Can you imagine a world of love and peace? If not, why
not?

If you CAN imagine a world of love and peace, DO you?

Your imagination stands as your most important tool.

Changing the world starts with changing what you imagine.

Whom do you imagine is more evolved, Mike Tyson or
Mahatma Gandhi?

That’s a trick question.

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all the best,
Mark

ps. If you’re serious about changing things, then you need
to check out -

create-reality.com

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Love Will Win

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Remember seeing a photo of the earth taken from outer space?

It looks like a beautiful blue sphere painted with swirls of white. Can you picture it?

Pretty incredible, huh?

Now imagine the blanket of air that completely covers our earth like a glove. A fabric that insulates us and keeps us warm: the atmosphere.

It cradles and protects us and keeps us safe.

Just like we have an atmosphere of air that keeps us alive - we also have a different kind of atmosphere that keeps us alive on a different kind of level.

I'm talking about the Fabric of Love.

I've felt it. Maybe you have to.

I know it's hard to imagine most of the time. We've got a lot of problems here on earth. There's a lot of pain and confusion and hurt. A lot of fear. A lot of anger and frustration.

But through it all, we have a blanket of love that keeps things going.

When you look at a blanket or any cloth or fabric - from a distance it looks like one solid mass of material. But when you get real close, you can tell it's made up of many interwoven threads.

It's called a 'complexity'.

Individual threads of some raw material such as cotton, wool or rayon come together to form a whole, which is greater than the sum of its parts.

That's what complexity means.

Which also defines love. Love is complex.

This blanket of love surrounding our earth is composed of an infinite number of threads connecting everything together.

That's why we're all connected. That's why, on a more real level, we're all one. Because everything is connected together by threads of love.

When I get really close - and look very carefully - I see those threads more as channels. Sort of like blood vessels. But instead of blood, these vessels carry love.

All connected together.

Everything and everybody connects together through this interwoven tapestry of love.

Nothing is separate.

I've spent most of my life trying to prove otherwise. I blocked myself off in so many different ways. I clogged up those arteries of love with so much gunk.

So many lies. So many judgments. So much pity.

"I'm not like everybody else."

"My problems are worse."

"Nobody loves me."

A seemingly endless number of made-up stories that all had the same purpose - to separate me from everything else. In one way or another.

It's sad to think about how strongly I argued for my own limitations. It's still sad to see it in others.

I used to believe I had to 'manufacture' love as if it came out of a factory!

Crank it out with great effort. Like one of those old-fashioned ice cream makers.

You'd turn the handle for what seemed like hours - cranking away... and finally the milk and sugar and eggs would turn to an always-too-small-amount of ice cream.

All that work for such a small reward. And then I'd have to share it with all my younger brothers and sisters! Where's the justice?!

That's how I saw love. A hard thankless job providing little return.

How do you view love?

How does your 'love story' go?

You do have one. Everybody has a 'tale of love':

"Love is..."

"Love means..."

"Because of love, I..."

"Love has done... to me"

Our love stories often end up being the very blockage that prevents us from feeling more love.

I used to believe love equals hurt. And who wants more hurt? Better to avoid love.

Our stories compare to the plaque that builds up on the walls of our arteries. They restrict the flow of love. Less love gets through. We feel less of it. We see less love in the world when our stories block our experience of it.

I used to think love took great effort. I didn't know love is ALWAYS flowing.

I didn't know that it took great effort to keep my ridiculous stories in place. It's hard work to fight off the love. It's exhausting. But I thought I was fighting off hurt and pain.


We're surrounded by love. There's no escape. It's like the Siege of Vicksburg.

During the Civil War, the Union Army - led by General Grant - had chased the Confederate forces - led by General Pendleton - into their final retreat at Vicksburg.

The Yankees had the city surrounded. But this old river town was high on a hill and well protected. The Union forces couldn't break into the fort.

So they starved the people out. After all the mules and rats and shoe leather were eaten, Pendleton finally surrendered. It got too painful.

That's the position most people find themselves in today: better to eat your shoes than to give in to an unknown force of love.


You and I are connected.

We think we're separate. And we do have our differences. We are unique. But we have much more in common than we think.

We're all connected by threads of love. The love I feel is the same love you feel. Only the stories are different. Just like we breathe the same air.

Sometimes you find pollution in the air. The otherwise clean, fresh atmosphere becomes tainted. Just like when we make up stories about love.

Blocking the love with our stories creates the illusion of separateness - which leads to pain and suffering.


Healing starts with recognizing the fabric of love that blankets the earth and includes everything and everybody. Nothing lies outside this blanket of love. Every human is connected to every other human.

The more we deny this; the more we make up stories (and eventually come to believe those stories) - the less connected - and thus the less love - we feel.

It doesn't take effort to love... to feel love, to give love, to receive love.

Rather, it takes effort to not feel love.

A lifetime of telling stories about love won't end by reading this one article on a Sunday afternoon. But it's a start.

Love is part of the "Beautiful Unknown".

The love we 'know' is often part of a story.

The love we don't know - but muster the courage to experience anyway - can set us free.

Ironically, Pendleton surrendered to Grant on July 4th - Independence Day.

And the defeated soldiers were not sent to a POW camp, but set free.

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Thank you!



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all the best,

Mark


create-reality.com

reduce-fear.com

forgive-yourself.com