Get Outta That Funky Mood

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You just want to feel good.

So WHY does it seem so EASY to keep slipping into negative cynical thoughts and unpleasant moods? Why do we seem to keep sinking down... when we just want to feel good?

Basically, that negative space we sink into is a resonance. It's like a mud pit or a hole in the ground.

In fact, you may want to even create your own image of what it's like for you. (The more you can define it, the better you can understand it and the more empowered you'll be to change it.)

So how do we end up there?

By choice. And that's good news! Because you can always make new choices. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Actually, it's usually a series of choices that lead you from a 'good feeling place' to a 'bad feeling place'. These choices form a pathway - a well-worn pathway...

A pathway you know well - because you probably take it on a regular basis.

It's like going down a slide at the playground. It's become a pathway of least effort; but only because it's so familiar and so frequently used.

And NOT because it really does take less effort to sink down into that mud pit!

In fact, it probably took a LOT of work - a lot of effort, focus, concentration - to create that pathway. Most likely it's been there since childhood.

The first step to changing is to understand the problem:

You have a well-worn pathway that's like a slippery slope leading you straight down to an unpleasant emotional state.

It's usually created in childhood as a response to painful situations that seemed hopeless and unsolvable. The 'solution' - perhaps the only solution available to a child - was to create a resonance - a hiding place - of mopey misery and cynicism (and whatever else is 'down there') - as a way to deal with the pain and oppression of the world.

You understand, of course, that I’m oversimplifying and generalizing the situation. But you get the principles:

You've created an 'unwanted' place as a defense mechanism. Or, at least now it's unwanted. Perhaps there was a time when it served a useful purpose. But that time ended as you grew up.

And instead of just going away - now it seems that unwanted place has become stronger - and the slippery slope has become much easier to slide down.

That's the situation I found myself in. So I started fighting against it. Because I don't want to feel 'bad'. I want to feel 'good'.

But fighting against it only made it grow stronger. (Maybe you've noticed in your own life.) So instead, I found a way to use its power against itself. Like judo or aikido or something.

That resonance - that unpleasant place - has a voice. Every resonance does. By letting it speak instead of always trying to shut it up, I'm able to dissipate its energy.

Here's what I do:

When I find myself in that mopey, cynical place - first, I recognize it for what it is.

"Right now, I'm in a 'negative' space. Okay, I slipped up. But I still love and accept myself."

Next, I let that negativity speak. Mentally; not out loud. I'll get alone for a few minutes - and just let myself rant and rave and scream and yell and complain and whine and... whatever else comes up.

And it's all mental.

Sometimes I'll do it out loud - but I recognize that's melodrama, and it doesn't solve anything. So if I do it out loud, I'm very careful to keep in mind I'm just acting.

Maybe I'll act out loud (for me, it's always when I'm alone) but I realize I'm only doing it for the perverted pleasure it provides. Like eating a pint of ice cream over the kitchen sink.

But then I get about the business of dealing with it effectively; by letting the voice of that unwanted resonance speak inside my head.

I'm not interested in the words I mentally speak, as much as the ENERGY behind the words.

I’m bleeding off the energy. Maybe not ending it (whining can go on forever!) but I am releasing the intensity of it.

See the difference? I'm releasing the pressure that's built up. When you don't let that voice speak - it builds up pressure, and potential energy.

There's a fine line here. I release the intensity - the pressure - and then I consciously stop that inner voice. If I release the intensity - then I can stop it without too much effort.

If I don't release the pressure - it just grows stronger (or at least festers) and I end up being stuck in that mud pit.

By letting that inner voice speak - I release its loudness, and I can step out to a better-feeling place. So maybe for a minute - a solid sixty seconds - I let that voice speak as loud as it wants... screaming about whatever it wants.

I focus only on letting that voice speak to me, inside my head.

You may do it longer or shorter. The key is to release the intensity. The other key is to consciously STOP the voice once the intensity is released. Otherwise, you can stay in that negative space all day. (Or all week; all month; all year; all...)

After you bleed off the energy from the voice of that 'down mood' - now you want to step INTO a brand new resonance. Otherwise, you're likely to just drift back into the unwanted place.

How do you do that?

By consciously CHOOSING the way you'd like to feel.

Basically, what I've done is to create a new resonance - one that I want for myself. I've created a very specific resonance that to me is the exact opposite of my mopey resonance.

I'll describe mine, to give you some ideas for creating your own.

It consists of seven parts.

At the core is the energy of my value. It's kind of a cylinder of energy that goes from my head to my feet. Perhaps one foot in diameter. Around that , I imagine a layer of love. Next I imagine a layer of power. And finally, a layer of success.

So it's like a tree trunk. If you look at a cross section of a tree, you see the concentric rings that represent each year of growth. That's kind of what it's like for me. The inner core is my value. Then a ring of love, then a ring of power, and finally, like the outer bark of a tree - the energy of success.

Value, love, power, success. Together they form a cylinder about the size of my body.

Next, I have three more parts. In front of me - excitement and enthusiasm. To the left of me - newness; freshness; the concept of 'everything can be different now'. To the right of me - the energy of 'I can be, do, and have whatever I want'.

It's hard to put into words exactly what these energies are. They're easier for me to feel than to describe. But I just want to give you some ideas so you can create your own resonance.

I was seeking to answer the painful negative unpleasant resonance. That's why I chose those specific energies. You may use completely different ones. In a completely different configuration.

But to be most effective, I suggest you imagine a specific 'shape' or arrangement to whatever energies you use to create a new resonance. Maybe you imagine a simple sphere of love. Or a cube - made of six different energies. Whatever makes the most sense to you.

It doesn't have to be a geometric shape. It could be an image of you - a brand new you who brims with love and confidence and gratitude and self-acceptance. Visualize the image in front of you, fill it with the qualities you want, and then step into it.

The possibilities are limited only by your imagination.

But if you stick with one shape with the same energies - over time - you'll find it becomes stronger and more powerful and it becomes easier to feel it. Just like the unpleasant resonance you now feel has become strong and easy to feel.

The beauty of this technique is it allows you to DO something to feel better. And the more you practice it - the better it works.

Here are the overall steps:

1. Recognize your pattern when you're in that funky mood.

2. Let the voice of it speak to you inside your head. Consciously, deliberately, let it speak.

3. Once the energy has bled off, consciously stop that voice.

4. Step into a new resonance of your choosing. One that you've not only consciously designed, but one that you practice and work with.

And over time, you may change it or add to it. Or even start over with a new one that serves you better.

Your life may not totally change overnight, but you can make slow, steady improvements to your emotional state quicker than you might imagine.

It can work like magic if you let it.

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all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

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Only Affirmation You Need

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Once upon a time I was frantically racing down a side street, when suddenly the light up ahead turned red. Screeching to a halt, I yelled out: "I CAN'T WIN!!"

Lot of emotion behind those few little words. But they pretty much summed up my life at the time.

"Glad nobody heard that," I thought to myself. Then I realized, hey I heard it! And I've been saying that phrase to myself longer than I can remember. Maybe it's time I changed it...

And thus, for the first time in my life, I welcomed myself into the wonderful world of positive affirmations. Over the course of the next month or so, every time I heard myself saying the phrase 'I can't win' I'd change it to: "I AM a winner!" On average, it probably happened twice a day.

So, fifty phrases later, it became automatic. I'm not sure how much it really changed my life, but I certainly felt better. Which was good enough for me.

Do you find yourself screaming a similar phrase inside your head? It's a fairly simple and straightforward matter to change it into a phrase that perhaps may better serve you. But that's not why I'm writing to you today, as wonderful as it may be to reprogram certain errant thoughts...

No, I'm here to talk about the single most important phrase I tell myself. Maybe you'll agree. (And if not, maybe you'll come up with your own 'most important phrase' - that to you sums up what YOU'D most like to change or improve about yourself.)

Actually, I've got a few. Here they are:

"I give myself permission to feel ALL my feelings."

"I am willing to accept greater and greater responsibility."

"I am the authority in my life."



Wow! That lightened the load! Did you notice all those people who jumped off the bus just then? I'm glad you've decided to stick around and keep reading...

We've been so conditioned to believe responsibility and feelings are both evil, bad, wrong, repulsive, taboo, ugly unwanted options in the living of life... that I commend your courage for sticking with me here.

It's a crazy world. And SOOOOO MANY problems could be resolved - ended - for good - if we all just stopped for a minute to feel our feelings and accept greater responsibility. And out of feeling and responsibility, the natural progression leads to accepting authority for your life.

It's a crazy world. And it's only going to get better one person at a time.

I can't make you 'get it' that feeling your feelings and accepting greater responsibility are not only so valuable for changing and healing and growing your life in positive ways... but they're also the most fun you can have in a human body! Because there aren't enough trees to provide enough paper.

Besides, I'd get writers cramp.

All I can say is give it a try. Watch the magic happen for yourself. Start by affirming those three little statements. And mean it. Truly give yourself permission. Honestly be willing. I've even been known to write out those statements a time or two.

I've felt the magic - I've SEEN the magic - I've LIVED the changes that can happen when you feel your feelings - ALL your feelings... When you seek out and accept greater responsibility. And when you understand - truly understand - that YOU are the only authority in your life. I've watched the pain go away. I've noticed the struggle almost disappear.

I've reveled in the joy and ease and fun of living life; the way it was meant to be. And I want more. I'm sick of trying to think my feelings instead of feeling them. I'm tired of avoiding responsibility. I'm fed up with the lie that some outside authority has control over me.

And forcing my ego or my inner child to drive my life? They don't even have driver's licenses! It's kind of scary in the backseat anyway...

That's why:

"I give myself permission to feel ALL my feelings."

"I am willing to accept greater and greater responsibility."

"I am the authority in my life."

Those are the only positive affirmations I need. What about you? What are you willing to do? What do you give yourself permission to do? Who runs your life?

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all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

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Your Shadow Is Real

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Your shadow is real. I'm not talking about the dark image that forms on the ground behind you when you face the morning sun. No, I'm talking about a part of your consciousness.

Your shadow is born when you are born. It's job is to collect and save all the thoughts and feelings you deny. Every time you suppress the urge to get angry; every time you stuff your anger, it goes into your shadow.

Every time you want to feel sorry for yourself, but don't - because pity is bad and wrong and you shouldn't feel it - that pity goes into your shadow.

Every time you want to cry... but don't. Every time you want to feel hurt... but don't. Every time you suppress your shame. Every time you stuff down your fear... it's all there. It's all saved. It didn't just go away.

Every feeling - every thought - from 'Day One' - that you denied in one way or another - it's stored in a living repository called your shadow.

But it's not just the so-called 'negative' emotions that find their way into the shadow. All that happiness you refuse to feel ends up there as well. Often times, we're just as willing (if not more) to stuff our happiness as our misery.

And love? How plump with love must your shadow be right now?

And caring? Your heart cares enormously. But if you won't feel it - down it goes into the shadow.

I see my shadow in two ways. First, as an actual entity. A living, breathing image of someone who looks fairly human and is quite willing to talk to me. My shadow is not my enemy. My shadow always tells the truth. (Unlike my ego!)

Sometimes my shadow appears quite dark and sinister and menacing. Other times it seems quite loving and wise and light. I never know how it will look when I go to seek it out in meditation.

The other way I see my shadow - as a huge shiny castle of light. Filled with excitement and unparalleled success. Which also comes with dark dreary underground passageways. That's the part I know best. Dark dank claustrophobic catacombs - deep underground - oozing with fear and anger and pity and shame and hurt.

I've walked those hallways many times in meditation.

Why would I do such a thing? Because if I'm proactive - if I seek our my shadow - I can reclaim the energy 'down there' so I don't have to manifest it in my life. But you don't necessarily need to walk your hallways if you don't want to. No, you can meet your shadow in the world around you. Believe me, it's there.

Are you surrounded by angry people? Are you surrounded by pitiful people? That's your shadow. Absolutely. Guaranteed. Your shadow is always 'out there' in the world around you.

Just look to those people in your world who invoke the strongest emotional response in you. What 'sticks out' in the world you see? That's your shadow. What pushes your buttons? That's your shadow.

Also, what about the happy successful rich-and-thin people you see - or watch on TV - or read about? That's your shadow also. Anything - any image - whether of beauty or ugliness - that registers an emotional response in you, most likely is a reflection of your shadow.

To work with your shadow, start by feeling your feelings and thinking your thoughts. Embrace them fully. Especially those thoughts and feelings that come up as a reaction to people or situations around you.

Your shadow never gives you more than you can handle. I know it doesn't seem that way. But just because you're in pain, that doesn't mean it's from your shadow.

Your shadow usually comes at you from the world around you. The one person who drives you crazy. The news story you can't stop thinking about. The angry driver who cuts you off on the way to work. That's what your shadow looks like.

Now that you've read these words, start to notice those people and places and situations that bring up a strong emotional response in you.

Your shadow is real. Ignore it at your own peril. You'd be much better off working with it, as opposed to denying its very existence.

Your shadow is real.

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all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

forgive-yourself.com

create-reality.com

reduce-fear.com

healing-emotional-pain.com

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What Good Is Emotional Health?

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Hello Mark,
i was just writing today to ask you a question i have never seen asked;

'what does emotional intelligence and having a healthy relationship with your emotions have to do with practical freedom ie: freedom to have be, and do as you wish (without going overboard of course) in the real world?!'

i thought about this as i watched a news story about an iraqi woman who was killed by her family for falling in love with a man they didn't approve of (a damn shame - may her soul rest in peace)....this got me thinking about methods that improve your emotional intelligence such as the releasetechnique/sedona method.

if you are living in an oppressive/restrictive environment where being, doing, and having what you want are made very difficult, then how does simply improving your emotional health allow you to live in a 'free world' of your own creation.

please explain to me how (or perhaps lead me to an article you've written explaining this) this happens, because i only relate emotional health to emotional freedom & well being but NOT practical (ie: real world) freedom..inspite of trying, i just cannot see the link (eg: how would the woman i mentioned above be free by simply learning to let go of her emotions.
Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Kgosi

Well, first of all, letting go of emotions doesn't have much to with freedom. To me, the goal is to FEEL your feelings, rather than letting them go. By bringing them closer, by embracing them, you become more powerful. And they release on their own.

But I understand your point, since so much of what most people feel truly is unpleasant. And all they can think about is getting rid of those unwanted feelings....

To me, true freedom only comes through responsibility. The problem is, very few people understand what responsibility means. Most think of blame, shame, negative accountability, burdens and problems. And who in the world wants all that??

Not me!!

Responsibility anchors freedom. It is the substance - the energy - the living energy - that allows you to create your own reality - to create your heart's desire.

Now back to your question: What's the practical value of a healthy relationship with your emotions, if you live in a physically restrictive setting? How can you have dominion in such a place?

I admit, it could be much more challenging. I live in America; supposedly one of the most free countries in the world. It's easy for me to talk about emotional and physical dominion.

But I've spent most of my life in prison. And I didn't even know it. I thought I was free, because I saw no cold metal bars.

About ten years ago, I finally saw my prison. And let me tell you - it was much more horrifying than anything I could have ever imagined. It seemed so real!

It shook my world, once I finally saw my prison. It changed my life, right then and there. Once I got over the shock and fear, I became determined to end my emotional prison. Because sleeping through life was no longer an option.

When you wake up, you see your emotional prison. I imagine most people just go back to sleep - back to their judgments and pity and righteousness and blame. And all the other tools we use to prevent us from waking up and staying awake.

But I hear what you're saying:

"Emotional freedom doesn't pay the rent!"

Meaning, it has no practical value.

Well, I say emotions create reality. I've proven it to myself. But I can never prove it to anyone else.

But this isn't about me. It's about a heart-wrenching story of a woman who's now dead. To us, it appears she died a senseless death. But we don't really know.

Even though we see death as failure.... death is the ultimate healer, wouldn't you say?



No matter how happy or miserable I am, I'm still going to die.



Freedom is a state of mind. Available to all, regardless of physical circumstances.

No one can take away your freedom. Governments can only limit your physical activities; your so-called 'physical freedom' - but that has nothing to do with your REAL freedom.

Your physical environment does not determine your freedom. Your physical environment is an illusion. It's a manifestation of your own making.

So often, we see the suffering of others - their lack of physical freedom - and rightly so, we become outraged. If we're awake, we can actually feel their pain in addition to our own feelings.

But it's so easy to miss the big picture. Because all we see is a TINY sliver of time and space. One lifetime is the blink of an eye.

We forget how long and hard we studied for this life. We forget that we determined the time and place of our birth; the parents we would have; the society we would live in.

We don't remember the excitement and resolve and determination we had before we were born. We come into this life with amnesia. Therefore, everything seems so unfair.

Life is about triumph of the human spirit. Learning to be happy in an unhappy world. Making the best of where you are.

I have glimpses of the horrors that are happening right now in China and so many other countries, to so many millions of people. I feel the pain. It makes me cry. The more in touch I get with my own soul, the more I'm able to feel the pain of the world.

It makes me grateful I'm here in the US. As bad as our government is, at least I can talk about how bad it is.

But what about those people who, say, are imprisoned or tortured? What about the innocent citizens of Iraq? How can I say they create their own reality? Aren't they really just victims of an invading army? Or, victims of sectarian violence?

Well, I say everyone creates their reality 100%. All the time. If not, then we truly have no hope and no reason to live.

To me, the question really becomes, why would they create suffering?

Which is really just an extension of the question: why aren't we ALL happy and rich and thin and living in utopia?

It can seem like the ultimate paradox, because we want to put our own interpretation on what it means to create your own reality. We have a tendency to want to make the rules rather than discovering what those rules already are.

To greatly oversimplify things, we have 'belief thresholds' that we don't cross. But they are OUR beliefs. The way I see it, one of the main reasons to be here is to challenge and expand and change those belief thresholds.

Just because you create your own reality, that doesn't mean you don't have limits. You're not likely to step outside your beliefs. I think it's more a matter of taking charge of the beliefs, rather than trying to control the events that have already precipitated out of them.

Basically we live in a crazy world. A world ruled by chauvinism. A world where domination seems normal. Nobody questions domination; in fact it's encouraged. And we've ended up in a mad world.

The thing about creating your own reality is you can create it so it appears that you DON'T create it.

If you're born into a mad world, it's hard to not go mad yourself.

Changing things can be like changing a huge battleship. Changing the world can only happen one person at a time. Maybe that Chinese citizen who dared to speak of freedom... who's now dying in prison... maybe he is changing the world in some small way. Maybe by holding onto his dignity and his principles, he feels a freedom we'll never know.

Who really defines what a successful and meaningful and worthwhile life entails?

Maybe that Iraqi woman you spoke of, as her story became known, maybe it changed a few human hearts. Maybe her suffering has a message for us. It's so easy to see the suffering in others, and so hard to see it in ourselves.

Untold millions of stories exist. We're only aware of a few. Why?

Why did you happen to come across that particular story? Was it really coincidence?

I would say - your world is constantly giving you messages and feedback. If you become aware of some painful story - and it brings up ANY emotional reaction in you - the most real aspect of the situation involves YOUR emotional reaction. And not the news event that precipitated it.

How you feel carries more significance (to YOU - not her!) than the story of suffering. I understand that's exactly opposite to everything you've been taught and conditioned to believe.

We're supposed to ignore how WE feel and instead DO something about what we see. Even if it's only wringing our hands in exasperation and expressing our outrage. Which really doesn't do much, does it?

The Iraqi woman is dead. Even if she weren't, there's nothing we can physically do.

No, our challenge is to respond to our natural feelings of outrage. We can't change her reality. We can barely understand it. At best.

Speaking from my own experiences: I knew exactly what I was getting into in my life. The major influences. The big problems. The defining moments, good and bad. Because I chose them before birth. (The 'beacons' of my life.)

So I'm guessing it's that way for everybody. Maybe for her a successful life meant understanding and forgiving those who killed her. But of course I don't really know.

Basically I'm left with only my own life to respond to. And to try to figure things out as I go along.

Maybe the glass is not half full. Maybe it's 99% full. Maybe all we can see is the painful tip of an otherwise beautiful iceberg.

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all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

forgive-yourself.com

create-reality.com

reduce-fear.com

healing-emotional-pain.com

release-emotions.com

How Emotional Pain Starts

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The obvious - but often unspoken - premise of most emotional healing lies with finding a way to rid yourself of those so-called bad emotions. Any way you can.

Because some feelings are good, and others are bad. Even little kids knows that.

We develop a hierarchy of good and bad emotions: Love is good; but hate, well, that's bad. We believe (indeed, we've been taught) that it's okay to feel the good emotions, but we should not feel those bad emotions.

Which unfortunately stands as one of the most self-destructive beliefs you can hold. First of all, it can't be done. It would be like trying to not see the red side of the rainbow.

All real emotions - and all true feelings - link together like the colors of the rainbow. You can't possibly filter out the feelings you don't like... the ones society looks down upon.

Oh, you can try. Everybody does. But every single feeling comes out of the SAME spigot. All emotions and all feelings come from the same source. It's insanity to try to set up a filtering system to block certain feelings.

It's insanity, but we all do it anyway. EVERYONE creates a hierarchy of emotions. But since all those feelings - 'good' and 'bad' - all flow from the same garden hose, we can only crimp the hose. And hope the good ones make it through while the bad ones stay trapped in the hose.

Which is impossible.

The 'bad' feelings become like a swarm of horse flies we must keep swatting away. But whatever you fight and push away, generally becomes a bigger part of your life. You can't outrun your 'bad' feelings. All you can do is distract yourself in some way. For a while, anyway.

That's the dilemma.

Here's the solution: It's going to require a FUNDAMENTAL shift in your mindset. You've got to stop seeing emotions as either good or bad. So you'll stop trying to filter out the ones you think are bad.

At the very least, you need the contrast. Stop thinking you need some clever trick to rid yourself of the bad emotions. There are no bad emotions.

ANY emotion - cleanly felt - will AUTOMATICALLY release itself. It doesn't need you to nudge it out the door. You don't need to cut a hole in the garden hose at the spot where you've crimped it.

Creating an emotional hierarchy in your mind often stands as the first step towards emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, panic, excess anger, hurt, and so many more. Because then you'll start to repress those unwanted feelings. Which makes them stick around, rather that releasing.

Here's a streamlined version of the problem:

1. We come to believe some emotions are 'good' and other emotions are 'bad'.

2. We resolve to not feel the bad ones.

3. We begin to shut down the entire flow of emotions.

4. We feel less of ALL our emotions.

5. Feeling less always makes us feel worse.

6. So we cut off the flow even more.

7. We become more powerless and the pain increases.

So what can you do?

For starters, you can choose a new outlook. I realize it may not be easy. But it begins with awareness of the problem: As you judge your emotions, you create a hierarchy out of them. So naturally you want to feel less of the 'bad' ones. But any attempts to shut off the flow will reduce your ability to feel ALL your feelings. Which always creates more problems.

You can't have the color blue without also having the color red. Doesn't mean you have to paint your room red. But we need the contrast. We need the full spectrum.

Bottom line: creating a hierarchy of emotions eventually leads to pain and powerlessness.

Red is not a 'bad' color.

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all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

forgive-yourself.com

create-reality.com

reduce-fear.com

healing-emotional-pain.com

release-emotions.com