How To Be Depressed

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I don't know why you'd want to read this, but here's the steps on how to be depressed:

1. Select the right parents.

Maybe you believe, like I do, that every single one of us selected our parents before we were born. (For more info, check out the inspiring book, "Journey Of Souls" by Michael Newton. I highly recommend it. Actually, he's got a few books on the subject.)

Anyway, the first step on how to be depressed involves the genetic component. Some people - like me - are predisposed to being depressed. Others will never be depressed no matter what happens in their lives.

Whether it involves the 5-HT receptors, or the basal ganglia, or something else, there is some difference in the brains of depressed persons. As much as I despise biological psychiatry for it's degrading of humanity, I must admit there is a biological component of depression.

(Although I know for a fact that brain chemistry can be changed - often times quickly and easily. Without any drug whatsoever. I'll be putting all the information together into a product called "Healing The Pain".)

2. Create preverbal trauma.

Well, this one is easy! Almost everyone was traumatized to a certain degree in the first year of two of life. Not because parents are such horrible, rotten creatures, but because it's hard not to be traumatized at that age.

Lack of adequate sleep alone will do it.

It doesn't have to be any kind of physical abuse. Brain chemistry and body mechanics can easily go askew in the first few months of life. Too many body systems are still developing during this time; too many things can go wrong.

Maybe you heard about the study which found that babies exposed to consistent loud noises will end up with lower IQ scores.

In fact, there are very specific 'windows of time' during human development. It takes very little trauma at these times to create huge problems later in life. I don't know of any studies carried out for depression, but its easy to imagine how real the effects can be.

For example, experiments with kittens found that if one of their eyes were sewn shut from the third to the eighth week of life, and then reopened, the kitten would be blind in that eye for the rest of it's life. (This little experiment was worthy of a Nobel Prize, by the way.)

3. Learn to manipulate your emotions.

Again, this one is easy also. Everybody plays games with their emotions. We learn at an early age you're supposed to stuff your emotions down; don't feel them. Or else we're conditioned to display melodrama rather than simply feeling and releasing our feelings.

But when you manipulate the flow of emotion, you're blocking that flow - and it's like damming a river or crimping a garden hose. Only worse. Not only do you build pressure, but you also separate yourself from your feelings.

And separating from your feelings always creates emotional pain.

4. Choose not to feel.

First we manipulate our feelings, so we're feeling less. Then, we start hurting. So, as a solution, we cut off the flow even more. We deny the hurt as a coping mechanism.

But this creates even greater pain. It's a vicious downward spiral. More and more, we decide to feel less and less. It keeps getting worse.

One day, the bottom falls out. The ground beneath us gives way. We fall down a dark hole. That's when it goes from 'painful' to 'depression'; when you fall down that hole.

And you can't just walk away. Because you're down in a hole. It's too late. You're depressed. You've lost too much power. You feel the heavy weight pressing down on you.

It's like you fell through all those unpleasant emotions you refused to feel. Now, instead of suppressing and depressing them, they're pressing down on you.

That's depression. The world looks gray. Bleak. You've lost your mattering. Nothing matters.

If you're still feeling hopeless, then you have something to work with.

If you're beyond hopeless, then you need to start feeling hopeless. You need to be somewhere on the 'hope scale'.

At this stage, it's still not too late to end the depression.

To keep the depression going:

1. You must believe you're a victim of something. Maybe you're a victim of your brain chemicals. Whatever. The important thing - you must believe it will never get better.

You must believe you can do nothing.

You must believe you're helpless.

2. You must continue to give your power away. By not feeling your feelings. Because if you do start feeling your feelings - like the wick of an oil lamp - you will 'burn off' those painful feelings AND you will be slightly more powerful.

The more you cleanly feel your feelings - with no story attached - the more powerful you become.

So to stay depressed, you must force yourself to not feel. Which takes what little power you have left.

See, most want to fight against their feelings - push them away - in a failed attempt to feel better. Fighting against your feelings makes things worse.

Embrace them instead.

Be like a sponge - or a wick - and let the feelings absorb into you, and they will naturally release. And you'll naturally feel a little bit better... and be a little stronger.

It requires an entirely new mindset.

Most likely it's the exact opposite of what you've been doing up till now, if you're depressed.

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all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

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How The World Works

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Ever wonder about why things are the way they are?

How does the world work?

How is reality created?

What does it mean to say we live in a free-will universe?

I was obsessed with these questions. All young people are. But the living of life demands more and more from us, and the questions gradually fade.

We don't have time to figure this out. And the answers we do come up with, usually involve some sort of resignation. We resign ourselves to our fate.

"That's just the way it is."

As a teenager, I was so idealistic. I was going to live in a cave on a mountaintop; far, far away from all my high school classmates.

Just me, the mountain - and oh yeah - somehow I'd have to get a ham sandwich everyday. A bowl of grits would be nice in the morning, too. I was a little hazy on where the food would come from...

But the important thing was, I'd have the time to figure out the intricacies - the unknowns - of life.

I was obsessed with how life worked. Even if I had to be cold, damp and hungry!

Well of course my adolescent plans never made it past the architectural stage. The demands of life elbowed the questions of life right off the game board.

Besides, I could never find an answer that fit into the demands life placed upon me.

Soon, I'd forgotten all about trying to figure out the meaning of life, and focused on surviving life. What am I going to do to make money? How am I going to fit in?

How in the world can I possibly fit in with a society where I feel so different - so weird - so all alone... even when I'm around others?

Remember the book - Stranger In A Strange Land?

That was me. I felt like the last puzzle piece that just won't fit into the last open space on the puzzle. A misfit. Something's wrong with me and I have no idea what it is.

I was such a minimus. (The smallest, least significant one.)

I felt that way for decades.

All my dreams had long since abandoned me. Or maybe I abandoned them. When I looked at the road ahead of me, the future looked dark and dreary. More of the same. More of what I didn't want.

I was waiting to die. As if, somehow, that would make things better.

I didn't realize it then, but there's always at least some little spark of something - some little part of every human... a seed maybe...

A Seed of Hope.

A seed of soul and spirit. Looking back, it may have been what kept me alive during the darkest moments. It may have been what led me to find some truly remarkable answers.

Many people have some sort of answer to make life work easier. Just go to any bookstore. Even football players have answers. The books are endless.

But how many fit into your life - like that last jigsaw puzzle piece?

Maybe I was lucky. I stumbled upon something that actually works for every human being.

It's a set of functions. (For lack of a better word.) The Secret - the so-called 'law of attraction' - is one small part of this set of functions.

I finally realized; I didn't have to go to the mountaintop.

Instead, the mountaintop came to me.

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all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

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Forgive A Cheating Spouse

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It's hard to forgive a cheating spouse. The basic problem is the trust has been broken. And it takes years to rebuild it. If it can be rebuilt at all.

The other problem is: the love often times doesn't break. It's still there. Love 'bounces'. Love is resilient. Love can stand up to all kinds of abuse. It takes a lot to break love.

But not trust. Trust is like glass. And when you have a cheating spouse, it's like the glass has been broken.

You can't possibly just pick up the pieces of trust and put them back together again. It doesn't work that way. Instead, you must start over. And it takes much more effort and dedication.

In the context of a cheating spouse, it often feels like we're leaving ourselves open for humiliation; as they're likely to repeat the offense.

So on the one hand, we're afraid to be vulnerable - even to ourselves - but on the other hand, because the love is still there... we feel compelled to do something.

What usually happens is we get caught in a tug of war between these two opposing forces: love and fear of vulnerability. We get caught in a trap - going back and forth between love and fear.

And in the middle: the rage, the helplessness, the separation, the hurt, the humiliation itself - in addition to the fear of humiliation.

(I've written more in depth about healing the pain caused by others here.)

It's also hard to forgive a cheating spouse because so few people understand what forgiveness really means. We have a tendency to believe that if we forgive the cheating spouse, we're letting them off the hook. And then they'll go back to their cheatin' ways. Even worse, maybe we'll be in denial about it if - or when - they do.

We can also be afraid to forgive because of the fear that nothing will change.

Our LOVE wants to forgive. But our FEARS say no. So what's the best thing to do?

I can't say about the 'best' thing - only the most empowering thing. And without a doubt, the most empowering action you can take is to forgive YOURSELF first. Then, maybe forgive the cheating spouse. Or maybe not.

You empower YOURSELF when you forgive yourself first. Why?

1. You're acknowledging your own value. Your own worth. Your own dignity. You're telling yourself that YOU MATTER.

2. Forgiveness is the energy that allows change. Forgiveness comes before change. This is so important to understand! Forgiveness creates the space for a positive change. No forgiveness: no change.

3. You acknowledge your own power. You're saying to yourself: I am more than a victim of circumstances. I can take charge of my life.

4. It's the only way to heal your own pain. If you don't forgive - the painful thoughts and feelings won't leave. At best, you'll push them away. But they keep haunting.

As you forgive yourself - you reduce the chances you'll go through this again. Either with the current offender, or another.

What's the most real thing about a cheating spouse?

Your own thoughts and feelings. Your own emotions. NOT the actions of another.

By forgiving yourself for allowing something like this to happen, you honor yourself; you honor your emotions; you help heal your pain; you acknowledge your own power; and you allow change to happen... making it much less likely you'll have to go through something like this again.

So forgive yourself already!

Then you'll be empowered enough - and clear-headed enough to take the right steps - the next steps - in the next chapter of your life.

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all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

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Reviewing Anger

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I always had a problem expressing my anger.

Growing up, a lot of it went back to a fear of confrontation. I guess my fear of an ugly confrontation was stronger than the urge to express how I really felt.

Later, I learned how important it is to review my relationship with anger. Because it says so much about me - as a person.

Anger is a wonderful emotion - when it's clean. When you feel your anger cleanly, it's like a body rush... that actually feels pretty good. It reminds me of a roller coaster ride.

It's a rush; it's a thrill; it comes and goes fairly quickly. And you're left feeling sort of like what it feels like as you step off a roller coaster.

In other words, you're tempted to go back for another ride!

Sounds crazy, doesn't it?

Because we've been taught, and conditioned, and forced, to believe many lies about anger.


Reviewing The Lies Of Anger

1. Anger is a sign of weakness.

First of all, I'd say weakness comes from 'short-circuiting' your strengths. It comes from blocking your natural strengths - which you do have. Every person possesses their own unique strengths and talents and powers.

I'd say the weakness comes in when you don't cleanly feel your anger. Because then you'll be carrying around a lot of unresolved anger which can indeed be a weakness.

2. Anger is bad and wrong.

If you feel anger... guess what? That means you're a human being. I love my anger. I love that rush. There's no such thing as a 'bad' emotion. Or a 'wrong' one. What's bad and wrong is not being honest with your anger; not respecting it for what it is: an emotion; one part of the emotional scale; one part of you.

To deny your anger is to deny yourself.

3. You need to suppress your anger.

Don't let it show. Which may be the biggest lie of all. I know, I know, many people say don't stuff your anger - but what they do is exactly opposite. Namely, suppressing their anger.

It becomes a habit so ingrained that we don't even realize we're doing it. We're all experts at suppressing anger. It's like whenever anger comes up, we open a trap door, and the anger falls in automatically. Seemingly without effort.

Anger comes up...

Whoosh!

No more anger.

Where'd it go?

"Wow, I'm not angry anymore."

We think it just goes away, and we may even feel a certain pride at not feeling the anger. But it comes at a price. You might even be surprised at all the many things that happen when you suppress your emotions.

4. You need to express your anger.

Huh? What? Isn't this the exact opposite of what I just said?

In a way, yes. But for most people, it's merely the opposite side of the same coin. The coin of 'anger manipulation'. Rather than manipulating anger by dropping it through a trap door into the nether-lands of our being - instead we create a monster out of it.

Ranting and raving in righteousness. Drama. Melodrama. Explosions of rage and fury that makes us look, well, unladylike... ungentlemanly... to say the least.

The ranting and raving usually sources itself in the firm conviction that we are right and someone or something else is wrong. We have the right to be angry. Or so we believe.

Righteousness.

But the bluster is a manipulation; merely the other side of the coin. Heads: you suppress. Tails: you perform. Either way, it's a manipulation.

Also, many people use their anger as a weapon. The 'big stick'. The gun in the closet. Again, it's a manipulation. Sourced in a lack of value and a belief in chauvinism. Perpetuated by ego.

Here's how I see anger:

It's an emotion. All emotions contain life and power. All emotions are meant to be felt cleanly... as they enhance our 'beingness'. Our emotions strengthen us and make us 'more'.

So why all the problems?

1. Faulty beliefs about anger and emotions in general.

2. Desire to use anger as a tool of manipulation.

3. Incredibly powerful habits - neurological pathways of least effort - that manipulate our anger before we even have a chance to choose to respond.

So what's the solution?

1. Be willing to accept: Anger is a wonderful emotion that, in it's natural state, makes you more powerful as you feel it cleanly and release it completely.

2. Be willing to explore: ...the possibility of feeling your anger cleanly - without any story of any kind.

3. Be willing to stop: ...using your anger as a tool of manipulation.

4. Be willing to write: ...write out your anger stories as a way to bleed off the froth and fluff that's so painful. Write out what makes you angry. Get the story out on paper.

These are a few starting points.

Reviewing anger involves looking more closely at your assumptions - what you believe to be true about anger - and hold those assumptions up to the light of day.

Anger stories are a good way to bring your assumptions into view.

And drop the righteousness.

That's what kills you!

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all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

forgive-yourself.com

create-reality.com

reduce-fear.com

healing-emotional-pain.com

release-emotions.com

Amazing Times

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I've gone through some amazing times these last ten years.

I went from being depressed and mopey and bitter and resentful and terrified out of my mind - to living a life I'm truly ecstatic about.

You know how it feels when you first wake up in the morning? At first you're disoriented - thinking nothing - then all of a sudden you remember the life you're living... and what you've got to deal with today.

You know that feeling?

Well, it wasn't long ago that my first early morning feelings were ones of depression at the thought of having to face another day...

Interlaced with feelings of dread - at all the unpleasant experiences that awaited me... all the things I didn't want to deal with.

God, did I want to go back to sleep!

Most days I did. (I'm not exactly known for keeping a job...)

My life was just plain miserable. Like a sponge cake filled with razor blades. Empty. Fluffy. No substance. But with every bite, the potential for intense pain. Which created a lot of fear...

And there really was no simple answer. Oh, there's plenty of people selling simple answers. I was suckered time and time and time again.

No huckster ever went broke underestimating my intense desire to find a simple answer - one that required no responsibility on my part.

My own bitterness created many bitter experiences of being suckered and scammed. But something in me wouldn't let up.

I knew I had a destiny.

I was going to find it if it killed me.

My first real breakthrough came when I found a way to start releasing the mountain of pain I'd been wheelbarrowing around my whole life.

It all started one night as I was laying on my raggedy old couch, feeling sorry for myself. I was zoning off to sleep, when I felt the sensation of someone or something grab me by the ankles and start dragging me along some invisible pathway. (Yes, that makes me crazy... but still, it happened!)

Later I realized it was my subconscious self. (Whom I'd been working with quite a bit at the time; even back then.) It dragged me to the foot of a mountain.

At this point, I went along with the vision - or the dream - or the meditation - whatever you want to call it - because I knew something BIG was about to happen.

Well, that mountain was a mountain of my unresolved pain. And I conquered it.

You can get the inside scoop here

The next big breakthrough came when I really 'got it' how critically important forgiveness is. Not just to release the pain of the past, or the obsessive thoughts, but how necessary it is for changing myself and my life.

"Nothing changes until you do."

Those are just words when you don't have the power - the force - the magic of forgiveness - working for you.

I learned it can lift me up - like an ocean wave - and carry me to freedom. Freedom from everything I don't want. And freedom to have whatever I do want.

Forgiveness = Freedom

I'll never forget the evening I discovered that fact. I was so excited I immediately sat down and wrote out a list of over 200 separate events I was going to forgive myself for!

Most of the items were a little silly and far-fetched and unnecessary. But 30 or 40 of them proved to be amazing.

Over the next few weeks I healed quite a bit.

Even my body felt healed. I became more flexible, more relaxed - calmer - even wiser. You can find out more here.

To this day, I still do the forgiveness technique. If I had to choose only one tool of emotional healing self-improvement, it would be this one.

I'll never outgrow the need to forgive myself. Because I'm human. I make mistakes. And that's okay.

The next big breakthrough came as I learned all the secrets of reality creation. I used to believe I lived in a random universe, where one billiard ball strikes another billiard ball which strikes another billiard ball....

A world of chance. Blind luck. Random. Chaotic. And always frightening - because I had no control.

Now I look back and shake my head. How could I have been so blind? The answers were always there. And I don't mean all the 'secrets' books. I wasn't interested in one-dimensional answers.

I wanted the complete truth, not a sound-byte.

With help, I identified the 19 core energies that create my reality. Yes, thoughts are one of the 19. But there's 18 more! All equally important. To elevate any one of these 19 above any of the others is, well... did you get your shiny new car just by thinking about it?

And there's actually more than 19 energies that create your life. There's dozens. But it reaches a point of diminishing return. We've only got so many hours in the day!

To find out all the details of these 19, go here.

Just as important, you can learn how to strengthen those 19 core energies. Has anyone told you how to think better? You might want to take a look.

After learning about reality creation, well jeez, how could it get any better? Isn't that the ultimate; the end-all; the last self-improvement info you'll ever need?

Yes and no.

Yes, it's pretty impressive. If you apply the information. It provides a solid foundation so you'll know exactly what to do to start creating the reality you want. But it doesn't specifically address depression. I do that here.

And it doesn't go into depth about fear and panic and anxiety.

See, I was still scared. Even after I learned all this 'reality creation stuff'. I couldn't shake the fear. That really bugged me.

I remember manifesting things and getting so scared, that I wouldn't even try to do it again. Sometimes for months on end.

That's kinda dumb. Like being too afraid to move into your brand new house.

Well, we can't have that, can we?

So I began systematically studying fear. De-mystifying it. Breaking it apart and seeing how it's put together. What I found out surprised me.

I discovered most of what I thought was fear, really wasn't fear at all! It was imaginary; a product of endless fear stories.

So the first way to deal with fear is to get to what's real.

I did that by 'bleeding off' the imaginary fears. Those are the ones that hurt so much.

Real fear is exhilarating. It's a rush. Then it's gone - as quickly as it came.

Imaginary fear drones on forever if you don't bleed it off. It starts with faulty belief. It beats like a big drum.

BOOM!...

BOOM!...

BOOM!...

The percussion of fear. At the core of fear lies a percussion that keeps on beating. Even once you bleed off your imaginary fears, you're still left with that beating drum.

To conquer fear, you must stop that drum from beating. Because it's cranking out fear - sometimes all day long. It's fueling your fear.

Anxiety is different from fear. In many ways which I won't get into here. Anxiety requires a completely different approach. Likewise with panic.

Too many people want to bundle up fear, panic and anxiety into one big problem. I found that by breaking apart the one problem into many smaller problems, I could then easily deal with each small one in a safe and convenient manner. And fairly quickly.

Plus, I got to see my progress each step of the way. That's exciting!

I wrote out the whole process. No 'warm milk at bedtime'. No fuzzy slippers. No fluff. Just eye-popping, step-by-step practical instructions.

Find out more here.

It took me from quivering jello to owning the heart of a Viking warrior. It'll teach you to be a warrior too.

At the time, I felt that was my crowning achievement. Because while depression hurt... being too scared to deal with my life REALLY HURT. I used to be so scared. I couldn't even be around other people, much less look them in the eye.

It's hard to put into words how bad it was... how severely it limited my life.

To end the nightmare of fear was true ecstasy. It opened up whole new worlds.

From my new vantage point, I discovered yet one more BIG issue I'd been ignoring up till now: The 'Wall of Separation' I'd put around my heart.

The first clue something was up, came from looking at my own eyes. I saw pain even after all the work I'd done. My eyes hurt and they couldn't hide the pain.

I finally traced the pain back to a wall that separated me from my heart.

I came to understand my pain was coming from the wall itself. Like a pain factory, that wall kept pumping out little packages of pain.

I thought I was protecting my heart. Once upon a time, maybe I was. But the wall had LONG outlived its usefulness. Now, it had become a source of pain. Sooooooo......

By going to the wall, and pulling it apart - brick by brick - I healed once again. My eyes quit hurting. My life improved. My freedom increased.

Best of all, I reclaimed the relationship with my heart. Removing the wall laid the foundation to allow my heart to once again sing.

Find out more here.

Which brings us up to modern times.

So what's next?

Now I'm working on ways to help people streamline the healing process. That's why I wrote the free e-book, the Emotional Healing Quick Start Guide.

If you don't already have a copy, you can get one by going here.


And I have a few surprises coming up soon. Stay tuned. Or just throw money. Whatever you think is best...

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Thank you!






all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

forgive-yourself.com

create-reality.com

reduce-fear.com

healing-emotional-pain.com

release-emotions.com

The Meaning Of Life

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As a child, my 'meaning of life' went something like this:

"God made a mistake. I've been sent to this Planet of Darkness, where people hurt other people just because they can; a planet of uncaring humans. Since it's too late to change things, I'll give up on life instead. I won't try. I won't participate in this awful, awful, society."

This conclusion about life became my internal gyroscope for well over a decade. It created all sorts of problems and impeded my development for many years.

But it also illustrates just how important my 'meaning of life' was, and always will be.

Today, my meaning of life is much different. What about you?

I believe there is no singular meaning of life. It's an individual answer, unique to each person on earth. For many, the meaning of life involves somehow finding food to eat for the day. In other words, the meaning of life = survival.

(And if you wish to help those less fortunate, contact me for the only charity I support; it's a mission in Africa.)

I'm guessing more people hold some variation of this meaning over any other one, since so many humans are forced to deal with survival issues. Of the six billion individual meanings of life, maybe half concern some form of survival.

But what about you?

Whether you realize it or not, you DO HAVE a 'meaning of life'. You have assigned a meaning to your individual existence, and to the greater existence of life you see around you.

I've found it quite beneficial to articulate my own meaning of life. And it's not static. It evolves and changes as I change.

I've found my own meaning is like a gyroscope that guides me through life. It's like a guidance system. It influences my behavior. It's part of my character and my dignity. It's my reason for living. And my reason for behaving as I do.

I use my meaning to explain why life is as it is.

It's why I'm now an optimist, when I used to be so cynical and dour.

My meaning is logical, reasonable, and explainable.

And most important, it's part of my foundation. Which means it's part of my motivation.

What motivates you? Are you satisfied with your motivation? Do you own it? Do you embrace it? Would you like to understand it better? (And I hope you see that as a rhetorical question!)

To understand your motivation, look to your meaning of life. Even if you don't consciously think about it, it's guiding your life right now. (Along with other factors, of course.)

But your meaning of life is always self-chosen. And thus, easily under your control.

You choose your meaning. And that's good news! Because you can choose any meaning you want.

Your meaning of life can be summed up in a few short sentences. It's the conclusion you make after taking into account the sum total of your experiences.

Everything you perceive about life can be summed up in a short paragraph.

Or rather, it already has.

You might want to stop for a minute and consciously think about your meaning of life, since it's greatly influencing your behavior, your motivation, your foundation, your health, and in fact, perhaps every single area of your life.

You assign the meaning to your life.

Why not get out paper and pen right now, and write out the meaning you've assigned to your life, and life in general? Then you can decide whether it's the meaning you want.

What have you concluded about life?

If your meaning says, 'life's a bitch and then you die' - then, gee, I wonder how your life's going?

You can always create a new meaning.

Also, look to the many, many meanings you create around the endless events and circumstances of your life.

We assign meanings all day long: The waiter ignores you. What does that mean? Your boss looks at you funny. What does that mean? You can't find a parking spot. What does that mean?

Usually, the little meanings come from the big meanings.

One way to create change in your life is to honestly look at what life means to you.

If you liked this post; if you got anything out of it; then please click on the BOOKMARK link below, which brings up a list of social bookmarking sites. Then add this article to your favorite site.

Thank you!






all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

forgive-yourself.com

create-reality.com

reduce-fear.com

healing-emotional-pain.com

release-emotions.com

Am I Enough?

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That used to be my unspoken question - "Am I enough?"

I say 'unspoken' because I didn't dare come out and ask myself. Because the answer was an obvious "NO!"

Here's why it's obvious: It's a trick question. See, it's impossible to not be enough. That's a state of being which never has nor never will exist. No one is not enough.

And yet, almost everyone feels like they're not enough.

It's always a lie to tell yourself you're not enough. So why do it; and why believe the lie?

'Enough-ness' is a function of your spirit. Your spirit - different from your soul. Spirit is masculine energy, while soul is feminine energy. Together they form a whole.

It's a constant dance - a continuous movement - between your soul and your spirit. The problem is, way too many people have experienced a crushing of their spirit... through shame and pain and childhood issues we won't get into here.

One of the byproducts of a crushed spirit is a feeling - sometimes a strong one - that you're not enough and/or not good enough. Sometimes it becomes a deep-seated belief. Or a series of beliefs. It becomes like a bottom line. It lies in the foundation of your existence. It hides in your unspoken assumptions.

As we reach and stretch and grow, and seek to become more, we brush up against the thoughts and feelings and beliefs that we're not enough. So it limits our growth. It dictates our life and lifestyle.

It's a barrier few can overcome. Most vow to not brush up against those feelings; and live their life accordingly.

"Am I Enough?"

It's a trick question because if I even ask myself, I've already lost. It's never a valid question. And yet, I put it on my negotiating table and kept it there for years.

I was so determined to find a way to become enough. So I negotiated with myself for years - begging, pleading, threatening, bargaining, ANYthing - to get myself to somehow do something so I would be enough.

Never happened. I was never able to do anything to truly feel I was enough. And that's the first clue.

You can't do anything to become good enough.

There is nothing to do. I sometimes thought that if I simply walked out (stormed out, really) of the negotiating room, that would somehow help. Nope. The only solution I found was to simply take the issue off the negotiating table.

There's a big difference between leaving the room (which is basically hiding and avoiding the issue) VS. taking the entire question off the negotiating table (which requires power and strength).

To know you're enough takes power and strength and responsibility.

Sounds difficult, but it's not.

Start by consciously feeling your feelings. Honestly. Cleanly. Even the so-called 'bad' ones. Get real with your feelings. (Besides, by feeling all of them, you end up feeling what you want. Amazing!)

Second, start taking back your power from the world.

"Do you know what they just did to me?! Well, blah, blah, blah...."

Righteous indignation is a state of powerlessness. So is avoidance, blame, pity and so many other hidden agendas and payoffs. Manipulation. Control. They all take your power.

You need your power. It wouldn't hurt to go around all day long:

"I take my power back from this person, this situation, this event..."

Usually we go around all day long giving our power away - to our fears, to our depression, to our guilt, our anger, to our bosses and spouses and friends and enemies and acquaintances... to the TV and the news reports... to anything and everything.

"Will you take my power? I don't want it... too much responsibility..."

"If I give you my freedom, will you make me safe?"

But as you take your power back, you will become more powerful. Eventually you'll be able to lift the whole question of 'enough-ness' off the negotiating table and throw it in the trash can where it belongs.

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Thank you!







all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

forgive-yourself.com

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reduce-fear.com

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release-emotions.com

Responsibility In The New Year

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How can we change? How can we make this new year better than the last?

Let me offer one suggestion: Learn what responsibility really means.

See, if you're like I used to be, you may believe responsibility equals pain, punishment, shame, blame, martyr, burdens, duty, obligation and fault.

"Who's responsible for this?!!" really means -

"Who's to blame?"

"Who's at fault?"

"Who needs to be punished and humiliated?"

"Who needs to carry the burden?" (While everyone else gets a free ride.)

None of that is responsibility!

We, as a society, have twisted the word around so it means something repulsive and unwanted. Who wants to be punished? Who wants to be shamed? Who wants more burden? Not me.

It's like we've taken this wonderful energy and hidden it behind an ugly mask.

I used to run from responsibility. Because I truly believed it was painful and unpleasant. In fact, I had programmed my subconscious mind to avoid responsibility at all costs. And so, my life reflected a lack of responsibility. It was not a pretty sight.


The Definition Of Responsibility

So what does it really mean to be responsible? I used to say, 'the ability to respond'; but that's just shuffling words around and doesn't really answer the question.

In a state of true responsibility, you'll be feeling wonder, excitement, joy, power, clarity, spontaneity, and fun.

In other words, you'll be feeling on top of the world. You'll feel like you can do anything. You're 'in the zone' and life just flows - with little effort. You're almost walking on air. Every cell of your body seems cradled in some sort of undefined loving energy.

That's what it feels like. It's the most fun you can have in a human body. In the moment when you feel responsible, you are truly living up to your human and spiritual potential.

How can this be? How can I use the words responsibility and fun in the same sentence, without putting a 'not' between them?

I guess it compares to the other big lies of society. Basically, we operate under a set of generally-unspoken-but-strongly-held beliefs; one of which is that responsibility is a painful, punishing burden to be avoided at all costs. It's one of the many faulty assumptions our society functions out of.

But you can break out of the herd. You don't have to settle for mediocrity. You can start taking responsibility here and now in this present moment.

Or rather, you can start being more conscious of it. Because everyone must be responsible. Everyone must respond in some way, all the time. The question is, which part of you is taking responsibility right now? Your inner child? Your ego?

I know for me, it was most often an inner victim, an inner martyr, and an inner outlaw. A victim who felt oppressed by the world; a martyr who felt unappreciated and burdened; and an outlaw who wanted to avoid responsibility. (An outlaw in the archetypal sense.)

Those three idiots were driving my life. While I hid in the back seat, looking for someone - anyone - to blame for the condition of my life.

Well, I call them idiots. Maybe I should look in the mirror... since I'm the one who made them be responsible for my life. No wonder I felt so helpless, depressed, frantic and overwhelmed. Sometimes I marvel at how I survived all those years. It's tough living your life from the backseat.

Thank goodness I finally woke up. It didn't happen overnight.

And now, here's the best advice I can give:

1. Start by accepting responsibility for something - anything - in your life that you're currently avoiding. Push through the invisible barrier that's stopping you now. Start with something small, if that helps.

2. Notice how much better you feel once you've faced up to what you've been avoiding! That 'feeling better' is like gold. And you can use it as greater inspiration to push on even further.

See how it goes? First, take a baby step to face up to something. Then, use the wonderful feeling it produces to take another step to face up to something else.

You can actually start a momentum this way, and it can propel you further and further into greater and greater responsibility and power. And wonder and joy and excitement and clarity and spontaneity and fun.

All the while you feel better and better.

Wow! Talk about win-win! You should be paying me money for this info!

You can't really avoid anything, anyway...

If you're having trouble getting started, keep in mind the initial barrier is almost always composed of imaginary fear. And to deal with imaginary fear, go to http://www.reduce-fear.com.

If you liked this post; if you got anything out of it; then please click on the BOOKMARK link below, which brings up a list of social bookmarking sites. Then add this article to your favorite site.

Thank you!






all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

forgive-yourself.com

create-reality.com

reduce-fear.com

healing-emotional-pain.com

release-emotions.com

The Consequence of Thinking and Feeling

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I learned this morning one more time - how important it is to be mindful of my thoughts and feelings.

It happened while I was looking at my barriers to receiving.

I was curious to know why I don't receive more love, more success, etc. I knew I must be blocking - or filtering out - so much of what I could be experiencing.

I guess they're filters, really, more than barriers. And I have many of them.

I call them filters because everyone receives, to a certain extent. We wouldn't be alive if we completely shut down our ability to receive.


We must receive energy - a particular kind of energy - to sustain life.


I compare it to breathing. I must receive oxygen to stay alive. Likewise, I must receive energy from - or through - what I call the emotional wellspring.

It's a flow of energy that becomes my emotions; my thoughts and my feelings. And I am always receiving this flow.


Anyway, for most of my life, I turned this flow of energy into shame. I was obsessed and absorbed with my own shame:

"There's something fundamentally wrong with me and I can't be fixed."

That statement permeated every single part of my life - from who I was, to everything I did.

I was very good at 'receiving' shame.

Fortunately, it's mostly gone now.

When I feel a little shame these days, it's like:

"Oh, wow. Look! I'm feeling a little shame here. How cute. Well, let me get about the business of responding to it..."

Until this morning, I really didn't think it was affecting me much anymore.

I was meditating. Often, I go to what I call my sphere of understanding. A glowing white sphere - highly differentiated - it appears to be filled with what looks like nerve cells, or brain cells. Millions of them, all interlaced in a sphere. Surrounded by a thick cortex of something - I'm not sure what.

I visualize myself going into this sphere almost daily - as a way to understand more about myself and the world around me. As much as possible, I ' become' the sphere.

Today, I brought in the topic of receiving. I saw I had many layers of resistance to receiving.

Okay. "Start from where you are", as I always say. "What's the first barrier?"

"A layer of envy???"

"Ugh! I hate envy!"

Oh, there's a clue right there...!

So - I found a layer of envy that surrounded me and blocked me from receiving more. It looked like - well, you know what a dried-up pond looks like? The ground gets all cracked and hard and dried out and so forth?

Well, in my case, the envy was caused by all those thoughts and feelings of shame I'd been living with for decades. The ones I didn't process (by feeling and releasing them) but instead I shoved 'em down - denied them - rejected them.

The ones that were too ugly and painful to look at.

And here's one of the places they went to: a prickly barrier that effectively blocked me from receiving more love and joy and abundance and power and all the other wonderful things of life.

Not that I'm miserable these days... But still, I'm missing out on what I could be experiencing.

And I got a vivid picture of what happens when I don't feel and release my thoughts and feelings: They formed a hard, prickly barrier that surrounded me and kept out so much 'goodness'.

Well, as you can imagine, I quickly got about the business of doing the forgiveness routine so I could effectively remove this barrier, or filter (whatever you want to call it).

After forgiving myself, it practically crumbled under its own weight. A filter of shame and envy that had been there for decades. And I never even knew it was there until an hour ago!

And on the other side was what appeared to be pink, tender, skin.

I can't wait for it to 'callous up' so I can see what the next filter is!

But here's the point for you to keep in mind: Those thoughts and feelings you deny (perhaps because they're so repulsive, or scary, or politically incorrect, or whatever) really do go somewhere.

And they can affect you for the rest of your life.

I saw that today - more clearly and profoundly than ever before.

If you liked this post; if you got anything out of it; then please click on the BOOKMARK link below, which brings up a list of social bookmarking sites. Then add this article to your favorite site.

Thank you!







all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

FREE E-Book on Emotional Healing

forgive-yourself.com

create-reality.com

reduce-fear.com

healing-emotional-pain.com

release-emotions.com

New Year's Resolutions: How To Keep Them

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I never kept a single New Year's resolution.

Until I learned the secret I'm about to tell you. And now, I don't even think about whether or not I'll be keeping any new resolutions I make. I know it's completely up to me. And 'will power' has nothing to do with it.

Will power is overrated anyway. Usually it really means suffering and struggling and punishment. Which I have no use for. I've struggled enough in this lifetime.

What I'm about to tell you is the easy way to change. It's not the complete answer, but it's a critical part. It involves changing your resonance. When you change your resonance, you change yourself (and even the world you see around you, to a certain extent).

When you change your resonance, magic happens.

When you change your resonance, your New Year's resolutions will no longer be a source of frustration, disappointment, or shame. The struggle will be removed, and it'll be like sliding down a slippery slope. Keeping resolutions will be a matter of choice, rather than a function of determination and grit.

You can change your resonance in various ways.

Today, lets look at the easiest way. It may seem too easy. Don't fall into the trap of believing you must struggle to change. You can let it be easy.

Up till now, you likely believe what I used to: "The best way to achieve your goal is to focus on it strongly and consistently; see it clearly and it will surely be yours."

Certainly the idea has merit. It can work, and often does. But oftentimes it doesn't, as you probably know all too well. Why do you suppose that is?

The simple answer is we're usually focusing on the form our ego believes is best, rather than listening to what our heart really wants. Which is not form, but essence.

Your ego says lose weight so you'll look sexy. But your heart says it just wants that wonderful feeling of being loved. You see the difference?

Your ego has desires, and your heart has desires. Chasing the desires of ego will have you running in circles and leave you frustrated and empty. Opening to the desires of your heart will bring you immense joy and satisfaction.

Chase ego desires and be frustrated... or open to the heart's desires and be fulfilled. Hmm.... Tough choice, huh?

Actually, it is tough. Because we're so seduced by ego. And our heart speaks so softly.

Can you hear your heart speak? Do you know what it wants?

I can guarantee you it's not the shiny new sports car. Rather, it wants the thrill - the thrill of driving it. See the difference?

Your heart wants the essence while your ego wants the form. You can have both. The key is to focus on the essence instead of the form. Seek to satisfy your heart FIRST. How do you do this?

By finding the essence within the form. Look to your New Year's resolution. First, look at the form. What, exactly, do you want?

Now, look deeper. Find the essence within the form. In other words, what are the wonderful feelings you will feel once you have the form? That's what you want to focus on: the wonderful feelings. NOT the form.

In fact you would be better served by not giving the form much energy at all. I know that's not what most people say. Hey, I've cut out pictures from magazines myself. I know how seductive the form can be.

But I'm telling you from personal experience; focus on the wonderful feelings instead of the form, and you'll have a much greater chance of getting the form you want. Because the essence creates the form.

Plus, you can start feeling those wonderful feelings right now. You don't have to wait.

To sum up:

1. Decide what you want.

2. Go deeper into your want; and find the essence - the wonderful feelings you'll have once you get what you want.

3. Start feeling those feelings now.

4. Keep those wonderful feelings in place; focus on them, rather than the form.

5. Ignore the form. Heck, you might end up with something better anyway!

6. When your ego comes in (and it most definitely will!) and tries to tell you you're wasting your time - say "NO" and keep on feeling those wonderful feelings.

7. Don't judge your success by anything in the world - just keep holding onto those feelings. Measure your success by how you feel.

If you follow these steps you can change your resonance. And make it quite likely you'll get what you want. Because all form comes from essence. Don't believe the lie that you must first get the form, before you can feel the wonderful feelings.

"I can't feel good about myself until I lose the weight."

That's why New Year's resolutions fail.

If you liked this post; if you got anything out of it; then please click on the BOOKMARK link below, which brings up a list of social bookmarking sites. Then add this article to your favorite site.

Thank you!







all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard


forgive-yourself.com

create-reality.com

reduce-fear.com

healing-emotional-pain.com

release-emotions.com